I realize that I have some kind of separation anxiety when it comes to The Mister. It may sound corny, but I think I function better when he’s around, as if he’s the source of my emotional stability or my equilibrium or my lamp post. So when he was scheduled for a business trip sometime early this month to KL, I panicked. He was supposed to attend an Annual Business Meeting on the Friday, which was actually a public holiday on our part of the world. Little did I remember that my current work arrangement allows me to work from home (or anywhere around the world, for that matter) and with the long weekend, the kids will be out of school and they would love to spend their short break at the grandparents, The Mister suggested that I tag along (oh God, bless his kind soul!) 

So, that was what happened. I dropped the kids to school on Thursday, arranged for my Mom to pick them up and headed straight to the airport to catch a plane ride to Kuala Lumpur. The next morning, The Mister was up early for his meeting. I joined him for breakfast and had a chat over some croissants and coffee before he had to go. After he left, my girly day with myself began. 

I started the day with some emails and work submission. I am so grateful that this arrangement no longer involves confinement to miniature cubicles, instead I get to work from a desk in a junior suite of a five-star hotel with the view of the Malaysian twin towers. Grateful. 

Then, I finished reading my copy of The Notebook, completely in tears, I got ready and headed out to lunch. I decided to get all adventurous and walked instead of taking any sort of public transportation. I thought the walk would be good for me, and besides I wouldn’t know what to do if I were to get lost. I had lunch at Ben’s in Pavilion. A nice shabby chic place, very cozy. I had a portobello mushroom burger and the latest Women’s Weekly to keep me company before heading out to hit the stores. I imagined I would be shopping on a girly day with myself, but soon realized that all I wanted to do was just sit down with a cup of coffee and a good read. But wait, I also needed some Bare Minerals, so since we didn’t have a Sephora where I live, I popped by to get some blush on etc. Then, I carried on, went for another walk towards KLCC Suria. The bridge was clean and I felt safe walking the distance. When I got there the clouds were already getting dark, but I still had an hour or two before The Mister would be done with his meeting. So I sat the The Apartment and had my coffee accompanied by Sophie Kinsella’s I Got Your Number (This book is hilarious. If you’re wanting to get some light reading in between child care, I’d recommend this book), and before I knew it, it was time to go back. I walked past the rush hour traffic jam and met The Mister at the lobby for coffee (Omagah, how much coffee did I have that day??!!). 

I think a girly day with ourselves is something that every Mom or wife is entitled to. I almost forgot how much I enjoyed having a day completely for myself, with no particular agenda, no schedules, no priorities… just a day to go where the day took us and doing the things we like. 

By the end of the day, I had my tank completely full. I was with The Mister, feeling the warmth of his toes as we slept, and I had a whole day to myself, to regain some lost energy, and to catch up with me. And although I am not sure how long it will be before I can have another day like this, I am already looking forward to it. 

There are so many changes I see in my life after the two Wonderkiddos. One of the biggest changes would be my (high) appreciation for routines. I used to despise them, thought they deprived me of my sense of adventure and left me a boring old hag. But I found the benefits there is to establishing routines in our household, they create a sense of order somehow and it was easy to adjust my mindset to this.

At this point, I am proud to say that we’ve got our morning routine down pat. The kids wake up, have their glass of milk, head to the bathroom for a quick shower, have breakfast, pick up their bags and get in the car by 8 am. We’ve also successfully established a bedtime routine: dinner, TV time, wash up, then head to bed. Sometimes there might be additional favors of a glass of water or a glass of milk, a bedtime story or even two, but on some good days they go just soothe themselves to sleep without a fight.

Routines are great. And now we’re trying really hard to do family dinners or family breakfast or even family lunch – whatever, just as long as we’re sitting at a table together with a meal. With The Mister’s schedule it’s sometimes hard to predict if he’ll be able to make it before the children have their meals, but it’s always great to know that he tries his hardest to do so. Every time we sit together for a meal, we hold hands and say a prayer that M1 learned at school that goes like this: “Thank You for the word so sweet, oh yes! Thank You for the food we eat, yum yum! Thank You for the birds that sing-a-ling-a-ling, thank You for everything. God is good, God is great. Thank You God for the food.”

M1 does it really well (most of the time), and M2, well… if he’s not too hungry he’ll hold the urge to start picking on his food before anyone else does. And while I try to take this new activity seriously, I did not realize that I look like this when the kids seem to focus more on their food (and I’m really not sure what The Mister was focusing on when he snapped this picture). Oh well. At least we’re getting there. 

What are some of the routines you do in your household?

Back in 1993, on a flight bound for Orlando Florida where my parents were taking us to spend the summer holidays, I remember slouching in the first class seats that we got upgraded to next to a couple who were on their honeymoon. Still a young teenage girl at heart, so clueless about love and relationships, I remember thinking how great it would be to travel with a boyfriend or a husband.

It’s funny how I should remember this on a flight bound for Kuala Lumpur where The Mister was taking me to spend a weekend away from work and kids. Admittedly, I had felt a little silly for thinking that way, but smiled a little at the thought of how proud the teenage me would be of the current me. I have a husband who loves me, who decided on flying on a budget so we can have a nice hotel (points scored here for knowing my priorities) and who deliberately didn’t get any in-board meals because he knew I would be sleeping (sad fact, but another point scored here for attentiveness). And although we have come to realize how laid-back (read: lazy) and how much we value comfort (read: not adventurous or boring), we have the same traveling styles and consider each other terrific travel companions. I’m sure teenage me is squealing in delight at this very moment.

Here are a few snapshots of our weekend in Kuala Lumpur. Three days of kicking back and eating good food!   

Hello, hello.

Please accept my deepest apologies for having missed a lot of actions these past two months. Things were pretty crazy around these parts. There is so much I want to share, among which is about my new job (yes, I finally gathered the courage to hand in that resignation letter I kept revising for the past year… more on this next time) and about all the drama that is the Great Nanny Search. Other than that, life is actually pretty peachy, come to think about it. I am enjoying flexible work hours, spending time with the Wonderkiddos , going on the parenting downs and coming back up again, and the loose pants from all that mopping is not bad at all!

But enough of all of that. Today I want to share with you a little something about a deep lesson that I have learned these past few weeks.

Other than the disrupting of routines, adjusting to the new circumstances which I have surrounded myself with lately is not too difficult. I would say I’m doing a pretty good job juggling things around the house. I wake up, prepare breakfast, dress kids for school, see them off then start on my cleaning. Then I would go pick up my son, cook some lunch (or attempt to and then resort to something from the local deli), then pick up my daughter. These previously thought frivolous routine does in fact take a whole lot out of me. But I wake up every morning with such joy that I can’t even begin to complain.

However, when my son decided that he felt like REFUSING everything I put on his plate, that was when everything broke loose. I thought I could keep it together. And then he just had to quit eating on me. Then I lost it. I remember just locking myself away in the bathroom for a good ten minutes after my son rejected yet another bowl of soup that I had made for him. Cooking doesn’t come easy for me, and so it was like total effort down the drain. But that’s not the point. I actually didn’t care if he didn’t want to eat what I made, I worry that he isn’t getting anything inside of him.

He seemed fine though, still the jolly little dude. But really, how long could he go on without eating?

I often heard about how “your words create your world”. So instead of complaining about how much food he is refusing, I decide to tell him every morning (or actually, every chance I get) that he is “healthy and eating a lot!” I even have a goofy tune to go with it. M1 actually sings along. And, M2 loves it when we tell him that “you’re healthy and you’re eating a lot!” He just breaks into this huge grin.

So, did it work?

I don’t know for sure if it’s because of all phrases repeated over and over again until he finally gets it and starts to open his mouth. But whatever it is, if I can get him to open his mouth like this (see pic below), it’s worth a thousand tries in my book! I don’t believe that it’s denial, but I think the positivity in the words does have a certain positive impact.

So there it is, a lesson learned. Why don’t you go on and give it a try! (Mister, you are generous for buying me that Mac Air! – How do you think this one will turn out?) 

Someone got crafty.

Look what The Little Miss presented to me as she approached my (erhm..) work corner today. “It’s your birthday cake, Mama. Just pretend. Come on, blow it!”

Isn’t it cute? It’s got ribbons, bright colours and everything. She really knows how to make her old lady feel warm on such a rainy day.

Since the first time I held my little man in my arms, still so pink and fragile, I’ve always been amazed at how loud he snored. The Mister and I always get such a giggle from the audible sounds coming from that tiny nose. We’d tell ourselves that the fruit never falls too far from the tree and laugh about it. After two years, we’ve grown accustomed to it. We never thought too much about it, only because we know almost everyone in my family snored and we just assumed it was hereditary. But out of pure curiosity, during one of our regular visits to the pediatrician, I asked for no particular reason if it’s normal for him to snore. The doctor suggested an X-Ray to the head to get a closer look into his nasal passage. And so for the sake of it, we did.

The result was well, a blocked nasal passage. We decided to keep our cool until we discussed the matter at hand with an ENT Specialist. On the first week of December, we took the little Wonderboy to see Dr. Adrian Saurajen at Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore.

When we arrived, we met with a junior doctor to discuss about his habits. It was because of her probing, we came up with several realizations about his conditions mainly about his habits, like his constant bad breath, his teeth that’s growing protruding instead of horizontal, his gastric reflux or vomiting after drinking milk especially when he’s got a cold, his speech delay and his runny nose may in fact be not allergies at all. At this moment, I was already feeling a little down.

Then Dr A came and examined the little man. Just from one look, he told me that my son wasn’t healthy because he’s been breathing through his mouth all this time – which caused his teeth to protrude (insert major sniffs here). And then he inserted a nano-camera through M2’s nose which lit up and went around his cheeks to his throat. The camera was connected to an LCD screen so I could see directly what was inside. It was not a sight to see. So much lumps from infection, inflamed tonsils, exaggerated amount of mucus, and a blocked nasal passage. His adenoids haven’t been functioning and because of the heavy mouth breathing, his tonsils have grown larger and thus making the passage even narrower. He pointed out that because of this condition, the little man is not getting enough oxygen and also not getting quality sleep, because at the time when he’s seemingly asleep, his body is in fact trying to find the right position to breath better. And because there is so much mucus there, liquid have started to fill up his ears and if left for a long time, it might lead to hearing loss. I was holding back the tears that have started to well up as I looked at the monitor while the good doctor explained.

So what’s in store for us? At this stage, we were just given a dose of antibiotics, an elixir for the cough and inflamed throat, ear drops, and two kinds of nasal spray. The doctor will examine M2 again in February, and we hope that he’ll be cured before he has to go through any surgery to shave his adenoids and remove his tonsils.

Today, we are done with all the antibiotics and the elixir. We are left with the nasal spray that has to be given once a day. We’ve realized also that since his medication, he’s grown significantly taller (note to self: must buy long pants for him), his bad breath is there no more, he’s started to speak more words clearly (I think that he may be hearing a little better now), he’s also sweating less when he sleeps, he wakes up a little less grumpy, and we no longer have a vomit-ty baby on our hands!

I’ve pounded myself enough for the last month for every giggle I let out when I heard him snore, for every time I was being such a careless mother. Now I applaud myself for being such a curious worry wart (yes, sometimes I think I’m comforting myself too). Every chance I get I will tell this story because every time I speak about how great my little super hero is doing now, I grow a little more hopeful. I am glad that we nipped this bad*ss in the bud (because the necessary steps cannot be taken before the child is 18 months anyway). And with every nasal spray I shoot into his nose, I grow hopeful that a surgery may be evaded, despite how minor the doctor pictures it.

Please pray with me, dear friends.

Hopeful,

 -m-

So, we left the Wondertoddlers at their grandparent’s after dinner with them on Friday night, and went home to snuggling on our cozy sofa with a movie on. We stayed up just long enough to wish each other a Happy 5^th Anniversary. 5 years went by in a blink of an eye, but a quick moment of reflection reminded us of how far we’ve come and how much we’ve grown with each other.

We took the time to sleep in (isn’t an 8-hour sleep straight just glorious?) and forgo our plan for breakfast at our favorite place. Lunch and a movie is our idea of dating anyway, so we headed out to Munchies Bistro at Gandaria City instead.

The place is always nice, the food reliable, and the company was the greatest. We talked about our dreams for this year – for our family, for financial freedom, for the chance to see part of the world this year and every year after.

We aren’t much of a party hard kind of people; those days are clearly far behind us. For us, celebration means just this - quiet lunch and building dreams.

 (Thank you to everyone who sent us sweet wishes. We feel loved!)  

My dear Mister,

No words can ever describe how much you mean to me. You saw me in the dark, took my hand and led me into the light. I know I am a better person because of you.
You love me even when I’m being childish and incredibly selfish. You understand me even when I’m being unreasonable. Most of all, you gave yourself wholeheartedly without knowing what the future holds.
There are some things that I will never be, but there are also some things that will always be.
I cannot promise you that I will never change. But whatever I am and whoever I become, I promise to love you with all my heart.

I dedicate my life to you as a true story of hope, love, and faith. I thank God for this wonderful gift of you.
You are my best friend, my partner, my world. My life is complete because I have you, to love and to cherish, now and forevermore.

This is what I said to him five years ago as we stood at the altar, just before we were joined to be husband and wife. It was true then, and it’s still true now. Through the seasons that pass in our lives, we are still us.

Happy Anniversary, Mister!

Oh, in case you were wondering, I won’t elaborate on what The Mister said to me at the altar, but he may have said something that sounded like “I love you and I want to bring lots of children into the world with you” and look where we are today. (I’m just saying God really answers prayers.)