#flashbackfriday Today I received a letter wherein stated that all her papers have been completed for her admission to Elementary and that the school is looking forward to welcoming her in July. Elementary. Grade 1. July. Five years rolled by in the blink of an eye, but I got to walk alongside her as she grew from being this tiny baby into a little lady. #grateful
On Mondays we talk about our weekend.
This weekend was a bit “subdued” in my honest opinion, but when I finally rested my head and stretched my body on my bed last night, it felt soooo good!!
M1 and M2 spent Friday night at The Grandparent’s place and The Mister and I (with M3) got the chance to have some adult time and catch up with a few church friends at our weekly cell group meetings. It’s been a regular thing for The Mister and I to go to these meeting since three years ago, and I’ve got to admit that this has done wonders for our marriage. We always bring home full hearts.
Saturday was a work day for me. I began the day early with a huge noodle for breakfast somewhere in West Jakarta area. I met this parking guy who parked cars with loud singing and gestures with dance. Everyone got off from the cars with a huge grin on their faces. It reminded me that it doesn’t really take much to make people happy… all it takes is being yourself and something sincere from deep inside. Happiness is contagious!
The Mister and the kids picked me up after I wrapped things up and we headed to Living World for a little celebration. It was our nanny’s birthday. So we took her out for dinner and got her a cake with candles to blow out. I think the kids were more excited about it.
We went to the earliest service on Sunday. The first service at our new facility. Ps. Jeffrey preached a storm about creativity! Then we had brunch, had some coffee, watched a cheerleading competition (M1 is now all about being a cheerleader by the way) then headed home for a nap. We visited an Uncle’s house to catch up while the kids had some fun feeding fishes and playing swing.
That was our weekend. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t that “subdued”. I might plan for a less packed three days next week, because we all came home on Sunday night feeling exhausted. Hope you had a great weekend!
Here are a few of our favorite Instagram (@mayabudhi) moments this month.
In Kebaya Ncim for Sis-in-Law 7 Months Shower | Spying on a girl playing pretend | See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no evil | Sweet yogurt breath | Early Sunday Service at church | In the parking lot | Entertained by The Croods | Finally napping | Balinese beauty | Right jab with Papa
Working with baby.
I’ve heard people say that babies are most active during their birth hours. Normally I would brush unproven statements such as those with a silent “bah!” But this time around, I am beginning to see the possibility of truth in it. (I could also be super tired of sleep deprivation.) My M1 and M2 were both born before noon and they slept well at night since 8 weeks. My handsome M3 is the only one born after sunset, and until today, it seems like I still have a long way to go to good and proper sleep.
Now, I know that sleep deprivation and a little funk to the routine is like an unseparable part to the new baby - nursing joy package, and so I would gladly take it all, no questions asked. But since I started “working from home” or “working independently” and basically have no or little maternity entitlement, that’s when the funk really sets in. I’m easily torn in between my baby and my work. Naturally, baby wins. I make up lost time with whatever time I have to sleep, hence the sleep deprivation, on top of the lack of sleep I already have tending to the active M3 who still has no clue that 11pm is for sleep no matter how many times I let him in on it. I am hopeful that with time, we will both be able to adjust and march together to the same rhythm.
The most challenging, however, in my own opinion, is the “bring my baby to work” part. Dear little M3 gets nervous when he’s away from me, in which case he will scream bloody murder when he doesn’t get a boob. While I am thrilled beyond words can say that my baby is attached to me and will not be satisfied by a silicone replica of my nipple (possesive mommy here!) there are moments when I wished he was more understanding of the fact that Mama does indeed need to go to work. I’m telling you, it’s a constant battle. (Mostly with myself because clearly he really couldn’t care less.) And so I toughen up, arrange (sometimes rather shamelessly) meetings at baby friendly places and during baby-friendly times and brush pointless remark such as “poor baby, you should be resting at home instead of coming out here!” off with a nod and a smile.
Babies can take more than we credit them for sometimes. Or at least that’s what I tell myself when the guilt after being out of the house all day seeps in. But thank you, M3, for always being such a pleasant babe during most of my meetings. Mama is so lucky!
“Hey Mom, how come all the princesses have long hair, except for Snow White and me?!” (This girl seriously kills me. Too cute.)
Bath time baby.
My little M3 gets a kick out of bath time. So do I. He enjoys a warm bath so much that I don’t mind going through all the hassle of drawing a bath for him. We love our Brevi baby table and it’s so convenient, but even so, bath time takes a while what with all the preparation and the cleaning up after it. And with our schedule especially in the mornings, things can get a little crazy around here, so bath is a no-go. I almost felt guilty about not showering my baby before we get out of the house but then I saw Indiana’s vlog on how she maximizes her mornings and felt much better about it.
Since last week, we tried skipping the morning baths and just give him a quick clean up - change diapers, wipe face, wipe body, get out of pjs - before we get out of the house. We come home after errands are done - meetings/groceries settled, kids are picked up from school - and then we take a bath. With this excruciating heat and unbearable humidity, 4 pm is as late as it gets for baths. The smell of sweaty shirts does not make a cute baby, my friends. Then he’d take a quick nap. By 7pm, when we’re all ready to end the day and get ready for bedtime, I change him again. Sometimes I wish I lived some place where the humidity is not crazy - I mean please… sometimes when he cries for no apparent reason, I just have to dip him in water for a bit and he’ll go right to sleep. Oh the humidity! But no matter how much I’m going to complain about all the hassles of drawing up a bath, there is nothing.. and I mean nothing… sweeter than a freshly bathed babe!
Now to drag myself into the shower for the 3rd time today. On that note, global warming is a real issue. I really should start saying No to plastic.
Before M3 came into our lives, The Mister and I had a pretty awesome arrangement going on every week. Every Friday, we would send M1 and M2 to spend the night at Grandpa and Grandma’s place, while The Mister and I have some quality date time over dinner and a movie or some grown up time with a few friends. Then we’d start our Saturdays late with brunch or a 2-hour reflexology session. It was the greatest benefits of living so close to family. The Grandparents were happy to have their grandkids over, the grandkids are happy that they get to spend a whole day in a place where Mama’s rules don’t apply, and we are happy to get a break. See, everybody wins.
But since almost three months ago, that routine was no more. M3 is always with us. He’s breastfed so leaving him is never an option for us. I have not dated The Mister in ages… and I kind miss him. I miss us being us, not somebody’s parents. So as of this week, we just decided to get back into our Saturday routine and let M3 just tag along. We stayed up Friday night to hang out with a few friends over dinner, slept in on Saturday morning and headed out to brunch just the two (no, three) of us. Although I wore my baby, we had enough chance to have a decent conversation without any interruption from toddlers. He even held my hand. (Oh be still my beating heart. Haha.) I figured this thing could last a while, at least until M3 no longer cooperates to napping in a sling while his dad and I have some adult conversation. And with that cute face he’s got, I would take him out with us any day!
I’m curious… how do parents with newborns date, actually?
Baby Bau Tangan.
Have you ever heard of a baby who is said to be “bau tangan”? Probably not. It’s an Indonesian term, literally translated to “smell of hands”, for babies who likes to be carried and doesn’t like to be put down. And lucky for me, I happen to have one of those on my hands lately.
M3 has always liked to be rocked and carried. Admittedly, it gets tiring when he doesn’t want to be put down for naps. He would only sleep in my arms. Put him down even after he’s asleep and he’d scream bloody murder. So for the first two months of his life, I slept on my LaZBoy. (Thank heavens for the inventor of that beautiful, beautiful arm chair.) I carried him everywhere (and felt only deep gratitude for my BabaSling), and out of concern that wouldn’t be getting enough sleep, I didn’t mind that my waist was about to break in half. But I’m glad to tell you that we’ve put those days behind us. Although he still prefers to nap in the sling, he almost sleeps through the night co-sleeping on our bed.
Now let’s talk about the part where people give me the look as they watch me wear my baby and label him as the “baby bau tangan”. Sorry, but I am not sorry that my baby loves to be carried or that he enjoys sleeping against my chest with the sound of my beating heart in his ears. I’m not sorry that my baby feels comfortable being in my arms. I think that all babies should, in fact, be “bau tangan” so they know that they are never alone, that they are cared for, that they are loved. And besides, “baby bau tangan” is probably just a disadvantage for those who feel burdened to carry their babies, but for those who love it, “bau tangan” is only as natural as they come.
Yes, it is indeed tiring that my baby only wants to be carried and that in being that way he doesn’t leave me much time to do anything else. But this is a phase that is slowly fading and before I know it he will be over it. So excuse me while I savor every chance I have to carry him. Bau tangan or not.
One Full Sunday.
I woke up at around 6 am to feed the little nugget and went back to sleep until the two older kiddos came to snuggle with us. Our bed is getting too small. Full.
We went for lunch-movie-dinner with the Surya-Gunawans. Dim Sum on Sundays never fails us. And The Croods kept the kiddos entertained enough to miss their nap times. Then dinner at Bakmie GM is never a disappointment. Full.
We caught up, shared laughter over silly stories and marveled at how far we’ve come since our college days. Somewhere along the way we turned into grown ups and we’re grateful to have pickes up such wonderful friends for our family. Grateful hearts. Full.
We’re nannyless for the week. And while some may tell me I’m amazing (yes I know. Ha!) for taking care of three kids without help, they’re not entirely spot on. For an Asian man, my Mister is pretty hands on in caring for his children. We make a pretty powerful tag team. I’m glad. Full.
Hope your Sunday was just as full.
Oh and happy Passover to those who celebrates it.